Within the Frame

I'm a photographer. I've always loved making images. I've always loved trying to take the perfect picture; trying to create on "paper" what I see in my mind's eye. I love taking pictures, I love photography, I love painting with light. I don't LOVE taking portraits.

There are a few "jobs" I've had that I love. One of them that I love, probably because of the story it tells, is the birth documentary I did for a friend. I'm about to have the opportunity to do it again for another friend in a few weeks, and again for my niece in about 6 weeks (baring some hurdles of travel expenses from my "adventure out east"). These, I love. I take pictures for people because I'm good (or really just, OK) at it. It's not my passion, but it helps me afford better equipment so I can take pictures of what I love.

I'm reading a book (well, I've begun to read what was released online today - and I've ordered a hard copy to arrive soon!). Part of that book spoke to me today so much that after I read, re-read, and read again a passage I got up and walked around my bedroom for a while pondering it. It spoke to me that much. I can't wait to read the rest of this book. It seams like it is speaking the words I've tried so hard to put together for the past two years as this photography stuff has taken off.

From: Within The Frame by David duChemin

It's as though photographers are afflicted with a chronic split personality. One personality is the Artist, the other the Geek. One is Vision, the other the Craft, or Technique, and in the middle where they meet is the art of photography - the expression of our unique vision through practiced technique. Great photography happens where craft and vision meet.

Despite the cameras, computers, and vast arsenals of lenses, software, and assorted geekery, photography is an artistic pursuit. At the heart of that pursuit is our vision and the need to create an image about which we are passionate - something that communicates the ineffable in color, light, and gesture. What stands in the way of creating those images are often the very tools by which we ought to be aided. Our vision and the image it creates can quickly become servant to the technology, excuses for our addiction to technique and tools.

Photographers, like artist's in all disciplines, face temptations to fall more deeply in love with the way we create our images than with the images themselves and the reason for those images. It's tempting to react to this addiction with a manic swing to the other side and embrace the artsy-fartsy, to-hell-with-technique attitude, but its when the artist and the geek/technician are both held in tension that our vision has the greatest chance of being realized.

I know for most of the people who read this blog you may not have even read that whole blurb, or really cared or really understood, but it was like an angel to me this afternoon. I've tossed and turned literally for weeks and onto months about what I wanted to do with photography, what I wanted my role to be. I did officially start a business, opened my own business account, and trying to sustain my habit with it's own income without charging anything. It's a must.

There is so much in the world of photography, lighting, editing, post-processing, that I don't have a handle on completely. I wish I had more time to study and practice the skills needed to master this geeky side of the art form. What I do know is I have an "eye" for photography. I see things in 2D as they are on the "paper". I can see the image in my mind before I take the shot - I get really frustrated when I can't figure out how to get my "gear" to do what I want it to. That is the learning I need to pursue. But I know good photography, I can take a good picture, but what I want to do is take pictures that stir emotions in others.

I have for years wanted to travel and take pictures of people and places around the world. On every mission trip or vacation we've been on, I've wanted to try and capture the essence of the people and environment where we go. I want to show the neediness of the people, and the pure joy in the eyes of a child as he kicks a can down a dirt road in the same clothes he's worn every day for a year. I read blogs about the Compassion folks going all over and helping share the love of Jesus with people who may never have the chance to hear that word. I want to be there to share the pure, raw, emotion of those people, those kids. I don't know how to make that happen.

People will pay me take pictures of their son or daughter graduating from high school, and I'll do it, because they pay me. It's not my passion. It's not my Vision. But it pays the bills.

I'm setting a goal for myself. It's long term, but I want it "out there" so I can stick with it.

By the end of the summer 2010 I want to go on at least one trip, whether it be for missions, or what have you, I want to take a trip with the sole purpose to be to capture my vision. Seeing that I love Christ, and I want others to know that Peace, that Love, that Commitment, I see that that will probably be the avenue to my journey. That is fine, it's the best of both worlds - I can search for my Vision while sharing the Love of Jesus Christ. I know this will be hard to do, I know it won't be easy. I know that it will take commitments on the parts of others who don't see this as their "dream", but I pray they will help me find mine.

This summer as I go away for a month to my "adventure out east" I'm sure I'll have lots of time to think, ponder, and practice my skills. I'm not real sure what the environment will be like on the campus (or compound as we like to call it) but hopefully there will be opportunity for me to search for some vision possibilities. (if that makes any sense at all) I'm not sure if I'll be allowed to take pictures of people or not; I may have to stick to trees and flowers and stuff!!

I know this summer will be a time of new found everything. I'm going to change the way I do a lot of things after this "adventure" and I'm really hoping that the time "alone" will help me. I'll be in an apartment all by myself when I'm not in class or therapy, or at the gym or cooking class, or just doing what I'm out there to do, with plenty of time to think. I'll be in a beautiful environment in North Carolina with plenty of time to "see" the world (without ever leaving the compound). I'm going to deal with a lot of "baggage" I'm sure. I'm hoping that the changes that are made are for the good of everyone I love dearly. I hope to come out on the other side loving myself dearly. I'm hoping that a lot of questions about the direction of my life come to be. Not only my health, but my passions, and loves. Just about 4 1/2 weeks until I leave. I'm getting a little nervous, but I'm really excited all at the same time.

Anyways, its getting late, I've rambled, I have to get Landon to actually go to sleep (still fighting it at 9:45) and then do so myself after I watch to see if Tara kicked butt on the finale of The Biggest Loser!!!! She so deserves to win this!!

Thanks for "listening" to me ramble, but I needed to get it off my chest!