Brave

Seems like songs have been the avenue to help me express the feelings I've been dealing with since I've been here. This has been an amazing journey.

BRAVE by Nichole Nordeman

The gate is wide
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You're safe and sound and
Until now, it's where I've been

'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything
But it's been love, your love, that cuts the strings

CHORUS
So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I am small
And I speak when I'm spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say your name
Just your name and I'm ready to jump
Even ready to fall…
Why did I take this vow of compromise?
Why did I try to keep it all inside?

I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in me, that changes everything

I could go into great detail and go line by line and explain my thought process through this song, because it is a bit unorthodox, but I won't bore you with that. Just overall, this past month has been an awakening of sorts for me. I've come from the status quo and moved into something much better. A better me. I've got two more days of the program left, then on Saturday, as with every other Saturday, it's a self-structured day. I'm going to fulfill the self-prescribed prescription of Shop Therapy!! (no worries Shannon!). Then I'll fly home on Sunday morning.

The friends I've made along the way, and the friendships that have grown stronger along the way, will forever be a highlight to this journey. Those people will continue to be a powerful force in my life. I thank GOD that He puts people in our lives exactly when we need them. I will forever be grateful.

I'm ready to be home. Preparing to go home and really facing all that that entails is tough. There are many changes that will be made in my family, my work, and my life in general. I'm thankful I have the support at home to make this happen.

This has been an amazing journey. I really am leaving here a different person. It's the same old me, but with much better insides. Not too much change on the outside, but I'm really ok with that. That will come with time. The insides are where it all begins - I honestly believe that. I will be Brave!

I have to say that I got more out of being here than I thought I would. I absolutely got more out of ME than I ever could have imagined. It's been a long journey, and will continue to be a life-long journey, but a necessary one for sure. I'm so looking forward to hugging my boys on Sunday. And for thanking in person, those people at home who made the sacrifices for me to be here, and those who stayed up with me late into the evenings chatting away on the phone, working through the tough times!

Thanks to everyone who has left comments, emailed me, left facebook comments, sent me cards, called, just supported me in general. Each and every one was special. Thank You!